Upon returning from my travels and settling down again, I decided to keep this blog under the premise that steph without borders does not necessitate actual physical demarcations on a map, but can also mean a borderless mind.  Granted I’ve not done much with it since that decision, however my aim is to try and post something at least somewhat regularly.  Clearly starting now, as no regularity has occurred thus far.  I’d like to share a poem, I was contemplating an essay of sorts to use as a preamble, but I think I’ll just let it speak for itself with one qualifier.  The more time I have spent looking for silver linings, the easier it has become, and at this point in my life, it does come naturally.

I’d love to hear what you think.  As always, if you’re reading this, I am thankful.

I am not an optimist because it comes naturally to me.

The bright side doesn’t shine directly in my eyes

and sometimes I don’t believe myself when I point it out to you.

Sometimes I fake it.  Sometimes I force it.

But the more I fake and force the more I see.

I am not an optimist because it comes naturally to me.

I am an optimist because if I am not, I cannot bear the darkness,

I cannot stomach the injustice,

I cannot survive my own heart.

I am an optimist because the pain of the world is too great,

I am an optimist because of rape.

I am an optimist because of torture and disease,

I am an optimist so they don’t destroy me.

I am an optimist so that I am shielded from greed,

From excess and its inherent slavery.

I am an optimist so that my heart won’t bleed,

It does not come naturally to me.

I’ve spent years of my life looking for what is BRIGHT,

Searching for truth in LIGHT, trying to find where YOU shine

and because I know you shine

I will point it out and say LOOK!

It IS light, after all.

From abuse I have compassion for the abused,

From rape I have a deep bond with too many women.

From isolation and loneliness I have reverence and I hold my friends close to my heart.

From my heart breaking I have courage and the space to love like you’ve never seen.

From being pushed away I will hold close,

From being misunderstood I will try with all I have to understand

Why there is pain, abuse, violence, and slavery.

Why we cage animals as if they were not our brothers and sisters,

Why we cage our brothers and sisters as if they were not US.

Why we separate,

Why we isolate,

Why we violate.

I am not an optimist because it comes naturally to me,

but because it is the only way I can see

To save myself.

12.15.13